Crowded!

Compare and contrast: on a train, three’s a crowd; at AVEX, three days of crowds… AVA CEO Jonathan Hilder on the highs and lows of people crowding together.

 

There are times when crowds of people are ‘a good thing’; likewise, there are times when they are not and in the past month, I’ve encountered both kinds.

Mostly, I’ve been thinking about AVEX 2013, when we’ll all be delighted that the expected crowds are ‘a good thing’; but more of that later. First, let me share some of the indelicate details surrounding events encountered upon a train journey…

I decided, for any number of reasons, that I’d take the train to Wakefield for the recent NIVO get-together. ‘Let the train take the strain’, and all that. ‘One less motor on the M1’, to-boot.

Never, ever, again.

It seems barely credible in this day and age, but I had no seat and had to stand for the entire return journey from Yorkshire to London. I hadn’t bargained on this when I parted with £130 for my ticket and I was less than impressed when the guard, with a jolly laugh, happily informed me that it would set me back another three-hundred quid, should I decide to avail myself of one of the many vacant seats in First Class.

Then, just when I thought it could get no worse, I realised that the rather shambolic gentleman lurching around beside me in our corridor eyrie was the worse for the drink. His proximity to me was such that, had he been in my place, a decent sommelier would have been able to identify the very vineyard whence had come the wine the man had drunk; such was the intensity of the fumes emanating from him.  A compost heap in the middle of an unusually humid August could not have been quite so ripe.

A third refugee made up our sorry party in the corridor, a smartly dressed woman who was clearly dying to kick off her business heels after a day in the provinces. Aware of the condition of the shambolic one, her face was the picture of distaste – and that was before the gentleman let rip. When I use the term ‘let rip’, I do so because no other phrase conveys the extent of the eruption that emerged, roaring and intimidating, from his rear end, into our close confines.

TRAINcrowded
Room for one more?

It is on occasions such as this when one’s natural reflex to shock – a sharp intake of breath – is something of an own goal; because it was as if we three travellers had suddenly been transported from the relative safety of a railway carriage to a toxic gorgonzola store room, somewhere in the bowels of a crumbling, septic chateau.

The smart woman was heard to pray: ‘Oh God’, she said quietly.

It’s a fact that the aftershock of an earthquake can be equally as powerful as the original and such was the case on the 5.25 to King’s Cross, because the second expulsion of wind the man conjured up was louder, longer and even more fetid than its precursor, which, it was now clear, had been merely an hors d’ouvres.

At which point, the lady had had quite enough. Rarely have I heard the three tiny syllables of ‘do you mind?’ stretched so long. In response, the villain of the piece turned to the lady and informed her that it might behove her to shut up, because after all, she was getting all the benefits of a long and lavish lunch without the inconvenience of having to pay for it first…

I’d rather be in a jam in my own jam jar, than on a train with a drunken toff given to making elaborate, impromptu demonstrations of flatulence.

Crowded trains? I’ve done with them. Perhaps, after all, there’s more to life than minimising your carbon footprint: I’d rather be in a jam in my own jam jar, than on a train with a drunken toff given to making elaborate, impromptu demonstrations of flatulence.

But crowded exhibition halls? Now, these are the crowds I look forward to. AVEX 2013 is shaping up to be the major event. I predict that we’ll have more new products on show at the NEC in 2013 than has been for case for many’s the year. Obviously, I can’t give details away, but believe me; many exhibitors are adding the finishing touches to their AVEX 2013 plans in the belief that it’s going to be ‘a biggie’.

On a serious note, there are still stands available at AVEX 2013 and if you been thinking ‘will we, won’t we?’, then let me urge that you decide to take the plunge. You’ll be grabbing a vital opportunity. The AVA is sparing no efforts to publicise the show and to bring it to the attention of a wider range of interested parties than ever before. For instance, the AVA has a ‘Vending Viewpoint’ page in both EduCatering and FSM and in the run up to AVEX 2013, the Vending Viewpoint pages will be dedicated to news about the exhibition.

We’re working hard to make AVEX 2013 work for you. With your support and with your enthusiasm, we can make AVEX 2013 the most successful AVEX ever. However, if I were you, I’d think long and hard about travelling to the NEC on a train…

For more information about AVEX 2013, click here.

Until next time, my regards.

JH

 

 

About the author

The Editor

Planet Vending’s Editor is Ian Reynolds-Young and it’s Ian’s unique writing talent that has made PV what it is today – the best read (red) vending blog in the world, and vending’s best read (reed). Ian ‘tripped and fell into vending’, in the capacity of PR executive, before launching a specialist agency, ‘reynoldscopy’, dedicated to the UK Vending business. The company continues to represent the interests of many of the sector’s leading brands.

‘It’s all about telling stories’, he says. ‘We want to make every visit to PV a rewarding experience. By celebrating the achievements of the UK’s operating companies, we’re on a mission to debunk the idea that vending is retailing’s poor relation.’

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